Reflections On My Journey To Oneness ~ “Sex” by Dr. Jordan Paul

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14. Sex

Dr Jordan PaulNothing in my early learning about sex taught me about the sharp contrast between sexual experiences in oneness and those where that connection was not present. Although sex talk was all around, I remained largely ignorant about the role of sex in bringing me what I truly wanted and needed.

Conventional thinking taught me to think of sex as a performance designed to produce a better sexual gymnast. Current day advertisements proclaiming the wonders of pills that produce erection, aids to stimulate orgasm and enhancement surgeries, perpetuate this idea. With the many doubts about my masculinity and lovability that conventional wisdom created, my sexuality became focused on satisfying my desire and wanting to get love rather than give love.

Overcoming many of my doubts and fears has completely changed my sexuality. When sex is not being used to get something or prove something, it is a deeply satisfying and intimate experience. I experience more of what I truly want and need – a deeply satisfying connection that is driven by desire, not by need.

A sexual experience that flows from oneness looks and feels entirely different from sexual experiences that are not heart-connected. It is lovemaking. Rather than a race between two competitors running in their own lanes and focused on a finish line, lovemaking is a dance.

Creative dancers on a unique journey have no pre-conceived notions of what a sexual experience should be, such as a simultaneous orgasm, or even orgasm itself. There is only the moment. Whatever happens is a result of clear verbal and non-verbal communication.

Being in oneness and totally present in the moment determines the next moment. Depending on what each person discovers in each moment our route weaves its unique path. In this way the route is never the same no matter how many times the dance is done.

A sexually intimate experience may have many different and often unexpected flavors and forms and never gets old even as lovers do. The finish line is never predetermined. One person may reach the finish line ahead of the other. We may reach it simultaneously. Or, one or both may decide on a different finish line.

Frantically searching for the elusive prize of sexual satisfaction, while remaining clueless about the heart of my sexuality, never resulted in complete sexual fulfillment. Although there is nothing wrong with sex as a purely physical act, sexual fulfillment accompanies those experiences of connection when my heart is wide open. And, Viagra is not needed to keep my heart on.

What feelings and thoughts about sex did this blog touch for you? What has helped you unshackle from the limitations you were taught?

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“Reflections From My Heart and the Heart Connection Symbol” by Dr. Jordan Paul

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This Dr. Jordan Paul video demonstrates a way to clearly and simply understand when we are heart-connected and when we lose that blessed state of oneness. It also serves as an overview to all the blogs that are part of the series “Reflections From My Heart.”

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“The New Spirit In Media ~ Media That Makes A Difference”

“Oneness” by Dr. Jordan Paul

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Oneness


Dr Jordan PaulOneness is the central organizing principle of my life.  Whenever I am one with my authentic self, my heart, I am whole.  My life is heavenly and flowing and I feel completely at peace and fulfilled.  I am also perfectly connected to everyone and everything around me, including a Spirit that is greater than myself. In that state I cannot disrespect others or nature and I cannot compromise my own integrity.  The basis of my ideas about oneness can be summed up in the profound words of John Lennon, Moses and Jesus that follow.

I believe that “Imagine” is one of the most popular songs of all time because it speaks to our heart’s yearning for oneness.  When you allow John Lennon’s words and music to fill your heart, what does your heart tell you about your desire for oneness?  Not just living in a peaceful world but peace within yourself as well as all your communities, including your home and workplace.

In Meeting Jesus Again For The First Time, professor and renowned Jesus scholar Dr. Marcus Borg writes “For Jesus, compassion was the central quality of God and central moral quality of a life centered in God.”  If the central quality of the heart is compassion, then working to integrate compassion into our hearts is the work of the evolutionary change that can take place in our personal lives and in our world.

This is reflected in a little known interpretation of Moses receiving the Ten Commandments.  In it, God does not give his commandments in the form of a series of “Thou shalt nots” but as values that began with, “When I (God) am in your heart you will not . . .”  Trying to legislate the Ten Commandments has been an abysmal failure.  It’s time for a new approach.

I had been thinking and working most of my life for that kind of connection but it wasn’t until I found Humanity’s Team that I became focused on the idea of oneness.  With their support, I co-host with Cynthia James Connections Radio: Awakening oneness within us all.”  Imagine being blessed with the opportunity to interact with incredible people from all walks of life who are integrating oneness into their personal and professional lives.

Until now, my favorite holiday has been Thanksgiving, a day with no commercialism just a day set aside to be grateful.  On Sunday October 24 begins a new tradition that could move Thanksgiving into second place.  Humanity’s Team, in partnership with the Association for Global New Thought, has created Global Oneness Day.  By going to www.HumanitysTeam.org you can join in the celebration and begin a tradition that can make oneness not just a once a year event but part of our everyday lives. Sign the Global Oneness petition.

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Spirit Media Network is the online positive media network designed to provide you with the best in positive internet radio, spiritual internet tv and inspirational music. Our inspirational podcasts and vodcasts are designed to meet and exceed your desire for positive media that truly makes a difference worldwide.

“The New Spirit In Media ~ Media That Makes A Difference”

Reflections On My Journey To Oneness ~ “Personal Responsibility or Blame” by Dr. Jordan Paul

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13. Personal Responsibility or Blame

Dr Jordan PaulThe blame game used to be one of my favorite pastimes.  I know that I’m not along in wanting to blame other, circumstances or God for my misery or unhappiness and that there’s a certain amount of comfort in being a self-righteous victim.  However, like all behaviors that occur when a heart is closed, blame kept my self-esteem at bay and my relationships from flourishing.

For example, blame for relationships difficulties is classic.  I saw this over and over again during my twenty years of marriage counseling.  When couples came for marriage counseling they were primed for battle.  Many brought laundry lists or books with passages highlighted in yellow that bespoke of the other person’s shortcomings.  Their attitude was, “Here’s what’s wrong and if only you (marriage counselor) can get him or her to change then we will be fine.”  They had a fine appreciation of the other person’s shortcomings and were blissfully ignorant of their part in creating the unhappiness.

I never once heard one of them say, “I’d really like to understand more about my part in creating these difficulties.”  Heartfelt compassion and curiosity manifest in a caring desire to understand the very important reasons that have created a problematic situation.  In a relationship difficulty, no one is singularly to blame and each person has a part in building the system that has created the difficulty.

The antithesis of blame occurs when, in the midst of a difficulty, upset or unhappiness, I’m connected to my heart.  At those times, I take personal responsibility, know that there’s something important for me to learn, and pursue that learning.  As the saying goes, “When you point your finger in blame there are three fingers pointing back at you.” My search is for the beliefs and fears that have led me astray, rather than kept me following my heart.

That is so hard and so rare both because I never saw it modeled, as well as my belief that if there was a problem, someone was at fault and I didn’t want that person to be me.  But, blame does not come from the heart.  Blame comes from the mind that creates beliefs about right and wrong.  The heart is neutral.

With learning, problems can be understood and beliefs about right and wrong can be brought into alignment with the non-judgmental heart. Without judgments, a whole new world of acceptance opens.

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Spirit Media Network is the online positive media network designed to provide you with the best in positive internet radio, spiritual internet tv and inspirational music. Our inspirational podcasts and vodcasts are designed to meet and exceed your desire for positive media that truly makes a difference worldwide.

“The New Spirit In Media ~ Media That Makes A Difference”

Reflections On My Journey To Oneness ~ “Femininity” by Dr. Jordan Paul

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12. Femininity

Dr Jordan PaulThis blog will diverge from my personal journey to include a letter that answered my call for women to share their journey in trying to live up to “being a woman.”

I’ve chosen to share a letter written by a woman in the middle of her journey.  Unlike most of us who write about our trials and tribulations after we’ve come out of our difficulties, Heather is still in what she describes as, “the tunnel.”  Many people in similar circumstances can identify with, and take comfort from, knowing that it is OK to be wherever they are in their journey.  The following is Heather’s own personal and touching story.

I’m in a dark tunnel. The waves of fear coursing through my body are feelings that I’ve never experienced.  I can see a light at the end of the tunnel but what’s on the other side remains unclear.  This is not a dream.  It is how I felt a lot of the time when I began questioning the identity I had so carefully fashioned for the past forty years.

From an early age I had known that I didn’t want to be the traditional accommodating model of femininity.  Motherhood was a limiting burden.  “Making myself less to make him more” made marriage undesirable.  Instead I followed a determined course through college and up the heights of the corporate ladder.

I became the epitome of my generation’s uber-feminine woman, an attractive and successful woman with a Park Avenue office and all the trimmings.  Until, unable to deny anymore a gnawing dissatisfaction and emptiness, I began the journey to understand the yearning hunger within me.  What was missing, was me.  I had no idea who I was beyond either conforming to “norms” or rebelling against them.

I am now immersed in the process of finding and overcoming the myriad of hardened, yet deeply unconscious beliefs that led me away from my true self, my essence, my heart.  Although I still have more questions than answers, the answers are coming.

I’ve learned that underneath the personality I created I’m not a thick-skinned barracuda, needing to do anything necessary to “close the deal.”  But will I like what I discover?

I’m learning that I’m many things and not any one thing, many feelings and not any one feeling.  Although I know that I am highly sensitive and emotional, I also have a dark side, the shadow that I must continue confronting until I come to peace with it.

I know that I crave deep meaningful connections with both friends and a life partner.  But I don’t always know how to access the vulnerable place that I disassociated from just to survive in this man’s world.

I know that I do not need a man for my sense of well-being and I’m not afraid of being alone.  But, how the hell do I love someone deeply and keep my course when he gets threatened by something I’m doing?

That’s big for me.  Will I cave in and lose myself in the process?  Will I compromise my own integrity?  How do I handle differences in ways that do not compromise my own integrity or that of another when that’s something that I have never seen or experienced?

The bottom line is that trying to be either feminine, or not masculine, led me away from my essence.  Gender identity cannot be fit into a box of traits.  The heart of my femininity is in fully embracing and loving every aspect of myself.  It is the road less traveled and it is exciting, consuming and essential.

I’m grateful for all my teachers and friends who are helping me go beyond conventional thinking and into my heart light.  I’m particularly grateful to those who hold my hand when my doubts surface and I feel hopeless and depressed.  The more often I come through the valley the more secure I become in knowing that I will get to my heart.  Whenever I do the better I feel and the more delicious it gets!

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Spirit Media Network is the online positive media network designed to provide you with the best in positive internet radio, spiritual internet tv and inspirational music. Our inspirational podcasts and vodcasts are designed to meet and exceed your desire for positive media that truly makes a difference worldwide.

“The New Spirit In Media ~ Media That Makes A Difference”

Reflections On My Journey To Oneness ~ “Heart On Heart Off, Anger” by Dr. Jordan Paul

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11. Heart On Heart Off, Anger

Dr Jordan PaulConventional thinking is that it is good and healthy to express anger.  While withholding anger is certainly not in anyone’s best interest, using anger to get others to change their behavior carries with it many negative consequences.  I have come to understand that when my anger is manipulative it does not contain compassion and a desire to learn and therefore, is not coming from my heart and I am not in oneness.

My anger was such a deeply engrained emotion and came up so quickly that it was really difficult to accept it as a learned, secondary response.  Since I have no reason to believe that I came out of the womb with anger in my quiver of manipulative behaviors, I believe that anger was a protective response covering vulnerable feelings, like fear and hurt.  Although it was not easy to get to the feelings that triggered my anger, I know that anger was both a way to try and get others to do what I wanted them to, and a front that was supposed to communicate that I was tough.

The truth is that anger was an expression of my weakness, not my strength.  Being afraid to show my vulnerable feelings was a reflection of my fear that I would be judged by others, and more importantly by myself as weak, unmanly, bad, wrong, stupid, or that I couldn’t handle my softer feelings and I would be rejected, or that I would be manipulated into doing things that I really didn’t want to do.

Ultimately, I’ve learned to use my anger as a red flag that says, “Stop, Recenter, Learn.”  What I confronted under my anger were feelings such as hurt, pain, helplessness and fear, as well as the false beliefs that formed these feelings, such as that I was not good enough, lovable or adequate. The less my life is run by false beliefs, the less anger is a part of my life.

The many important things that I learned from my anger came from confronting such questions as:

  • What is my intent when I’m angry?
  • What do I hope to gain from my anger?
  • What are the consequences of my anger both on my relationships and myself?
  • What are the costs of “winning and getting my way” such as the effect on honest and open communication?
  • What are the vulnerable feelings that my anger covers and why am afraid to feel these feelings?
  • How can I release my anger in ways that do not disrespect others and that get to my heart feelings?
  • What must I do to gain the strength to honestly feel all my feelings?

My heart is my authentic self.  My anger and the fears that create my insecurity are not my authentic self.  The anger and the fears and beliefs that keep me from living in my heart are like the thorny leaves of an infinite artichoke.  The more leaves that I peel away, the more of my heart that is revealed.

  • What part does anger play in your life?
  • What does it mean to see anger as a weakness rather that a strength?

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Connections Radio Show is a project of Humanity’s Team

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Spirit Media Network is the online positive media network designed to provide you with the best in positive internet radio, spiritual internet tv and inspirational music. Our inspirational podcasts and vodcasts are designed to meet and exceed your desire for positive media that truly makes a difference worldwide.

“The New Spirit In Media ~ Media That Makes A Difference”

Reflections On My Journey To Oneness ~ “Masculinity” by Dr. Jordan Paul

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10. Masculinity

Dr Jordan PaulFor my first fifty–three years, trying to feel good about myself meant pretzeling (don’t bother looking it up) myself into what a “man” was supposed to be.

When I thought that athletic men were macho, I made myself into a competitive athlete. Discovering that those skills were not helpful in the next masculine endeavor, girls and sex, I became a sex obsessed, competitive sexual athlete. Learning that men didn’t cry, I suppressed sensitive feelings.

Enter the men’s movement. Alas, after many workshops beating drums, listening to poetry, shouting out my anger and finding my warrior, I was no closer to feeling comfortable and secure within myself.

I was still driven by “masculine” qualities such as control, winning and being right. I didn’t have a clue as to what it meant to be so comfortable with all parts of myself that I didn’t have to prove anything. And I certainly didn’t feel comfortable embracing my feminine, whatever the hell that was.

Only after serious difficulties, like losing my marriage, did I begin traveling a different path. Asking the question “What does being fully human mean for me?” made trying to live up to some definition of masculine unimportant. Especially when I realized that everything that makes me truly happy happens naturally when I’m connected to my heart.

Engaging in a discovery process to connect to my heart I uncovered parts of myself that had been buried for a very long time. For example, I’ve discovered that I am an exquisitely sensitive person. I’m moved to tears easily and love experiences that touch me emotionally. It feels so good to embrace such an integral part of my being that I denied for so long. Thinking of that beautiful little boy forced to bite his lip so as not to cry brings me to tears right now.

I’d like to be able to say that I’ve discovered the common human essence beyond masculine and feminine, but I have not. I only know that I feel more and more comfortable with whom I am and that not having to prove that I’m a man feels great.

Throwing off the yoke of trying to live up to what I’m “supposed to be” is only one part of a lifetime adventure of discovering more about the beliefs and fears that create the self-doubts that disconnect me from my heart.

I do not know if there is a common human essence beyond what are commonly thought of as masculine and feminine traits. I do believe that masculinity and femininity cannot be defined by characteristics and that we are all much better served by being rid of those meaningless terms.

Since I can only speak my journey in trying to live up to “being a man,” I would love to hear from some women, about what you have discovered in trying to live up to “being a woman”?

I would also love to hear what you think of my contention that defining masculine and feminine by traits is meaningless, if not downright harmful?

STAY CONNECTED! with Connections Radio on Spirit Media Network.

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Spirit Media Network is the online positive media network designed to provide you with the best in positive internet radio, spiritual internet tv and inspirational music. Our inspirational podcasts and vodcasts are designed to meet and exceed your desire for positive media that truly makes a difference worldwide.

“The New Spirit In Media ~ Media That Makes A Difference”

Reflections On My Journey To Oneness ~ “Heart On Heart Off, Arguing” by Dr. Jordan Paul

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9. Heart On Heart Off, Arguing

Dr Jordan PaulConventional thinking is that arguments are healthy and a natural and important part of being in a relationship. From many painful experiences I have come to believe that arguments erode trust, are counter-productive and unnecessary.

When I’m trying to win, be right, or make a point there is no compassion and no desire to understand my own or another person’s thoughts and feelings. Given my belief that compassion and learning are integral aspects of being in my heart, anytime I’m in an argument, I’m not in oneness with my authentic self, and certainly not in oneness with whoever I’m in the argument with.

When I’m connected to my heart, there can be no argument. Compassion and a desire to learn create an exploration. When I’m caring about another person’s feelings, I’m compassionately listening to them. I’m reflecting back what I sense their feeling and I’m wanting to learn more about their thinking. An openness to learning is also apparent in my desire to learn more about my part in the difficulty and more deeply understand my feelings and beliefs.

A desire to learn is evidenced in responses such as:

• I’d like to learn more about your thoughts, ideas and feelings.
• Why do I believe as I do and why am I so invested in it?
• What is there for me to learn from this difficulty?
• Why is it so important for me to convince another and to be right?
• What are the results of engaging in arguments?
• What are the negative consequences of “winning?”

Differences of opinion, needs and wants are bound to occur in any relationship and I still find myself, at times, getting caught up in an argument. At those times, old fears and beliefs hold sway and disconnect me from my heart. That’s all part of being human. But, I also know that as the saying goes, “It takes two to tangle.” (Well, maybe that’s not exactly the saying but I like it anyway.)

When I realize that I’m in an argument I can immediately stop it by centering myself. Once in my heart I can continue with the completely different consciousness of compassion and an openness to learning.

When I’m connected to my heart even if another person isn’t connected to their heart, there can be no argument. If another person wants to argue, I might go off and do my learning alone.

I don’t like how it feels to be in an argument. I love how I feel when I’m in my heart, exploring and learning.

What are your experiences and beliefs regarding arguments?

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Connections Radio Show is a project of Humanity’s Team

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Spirit Media Network is the online positive media network designed to provide you with the best in positive internet radio, spiritual internet tv and inspirational music. Our inspirational podcasts and vodcasts are designed to meet and exceed your desire for positive media that truly makes a difference worldwide.

“The New Spirit In Media ~ Media That Makes A Difference”

Reflections On My Journey To Oneness ~ Cleaning Up My Messes by Dr. Jordan Paul

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8. Cleaning Up My Messes

There is probably nothing harder for me to acknowledge than the fact that my heart disconnected behaviors are disrespectful, inflict pain on others, and carry with them inescapable, though often unrecognized, negative consequences.  (I’ll be talking more about this in subsequent blogs.)

For most of my life, I lived blissfully ignorant of the devastating effects that inevitably followed my anger, irritation, judgments or emotional withdrawal.  Oh sure, some of those relationships survived but the price was the cancer of eroding trust that produced a growing emotional distance.

For example, criticizing or getting angry with another person may seen innocuous but it is stored, albeit often unconsciously, and often results in shutting down emotionally and sexually, as well as revengeful behavior.

The sadness that I feel for inflicting disrespectful behavior is something I will always carry around.  Knowing that my behavior came from the beliefs and fears that predominated over my loving authentic self, helps to keep away the guilt and self-judgment, but does not change the existential reality of the consequences of that behavior.

If I haven’t lost you in my sadness, the bright side of this blog is that messes can be cleaned up.  The first step in healing wounds is to take responsibility for my disrespectful behavior and apologize to the injured party.  This is the first step but it must not be the last.

Apologies by themselves are meaningless.  God knows I made a lot of apologies without anything really changing.  Cleaning up messes and rebuilding trust requires apologies and actions.  Actions are the behaviors that follow from a dedicated commitment to resolve the underlying fears and beliefs that are responsible for disconnected disrespectful behavior.
The first eight blogs have covered the basic philosophy that guides my journey to living in oneness more of the time.  It can be summarized as:

1. Learning more about my essence/heart, and the behaviors and feelings of oneness with my authentic self that can be summarized simply as compassion and being open to learning.
2. Becoming more aware of when I am not living in oneness, in integrity with my authentic self.
3. Knowing how to regain my heart connection, my authentic self.
4. Learning how to stay in oneness with my heart more of the time by confronting and resolving the beliefs and fears that disconnect me from my authentic self.
5. Cleaning up the problems that are created when I lose my heart connection and rebuilding the trust that is lost when I am disconnected from my authentic self.

Because everything starts with becoming more aware of when I am in oneness and when I am not connected to my oneness, the next series of blogs, will focus on my learning about specific feelings behaviors and experiences, such as arguments, sex, gender identity, anger, intimacy, judgments, taking things personally, jealousy and much, much more.

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Spirit Media Network is the online positive media network designed to provide you with the best in positive internet radio, spiritual internet tv and inspirational music. Our inspirational podcasts and vodcasts are designed to meet and exceed your desire for positive media that truly makes a difference worldwide.

“The New Spirit In Media ~ Media That Makes A Difference”

Reflections On My Journey To Oneness ~ Oneness Is My Birthright

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7. Oneness Is My Birthright

In the consciousness of oneness I know that I am loveable and loving. Since I can’t imagine an infant coming into the world disconnected from that knowledge and believing that he or she was inadequate, unlovable, unattractive, unimportant or stupid, I must assume that I came to believe those things after I was born. Although I cannot know for sure how that happened I have some pretty good ideas.

Like all infants, I imagine crying when I was afraid, uncomfortable, and needing some nurturing. I imagine my natural curiosity lead to exploring everything I could get my hands on, including my body. I imagine that when I did many natural and innocent things and adults got angry, made derisive comments, or just became cold and withdrew their love, the message was clear – my behavior was wrong and the cause of their upset.

(This is not an indictment of my parents. They, like most parents did what they thought was best for me. Their intent was certainly not done with the thought in mind, “I really want to screw up this kid.” Given their beliefs and fears they, like all of us, were always doing the best they could.)

As a child, I had no way of knowing that in another home, or in another culture or era, my behavior might not have been judged as wrong. So in my naiveté I developed an inner critic that was built on the belief that when others were upset with something I had done, that meant I was wrong and responsible for their upset.

To escape carrying these beliefs into adulthood I would have had to either experience people taking responsibility for their feelings, or those that possessed the wisdom to not take personally, the critical judgments of others.

For the former to occur, people would have had to reacted to being upset by taking responsibility for their feelings. They would have been curious, and this contemplative attitude would have been reflected in questions like: “I wonder why I’m getting so upset?”; “What are the fears and beliefs of mine that are getting touched off right now?”; or “I wonder what there is to learn from this upset?” I never remember anything like that happening? Do you?

To not take personally another person’s judgment I would have looked up into the eyes of a person who was upset and thought, “It’s not that I’m unlovable, it’s that you’re having trouble loving me right now.” That was always the truth, but since a child cannot be expected to know that, I learned to take things personally. Can you relate to that?

Once I believed that I was responsible for another person’s upsets, it follows that when I was upset, other people were responsible and wrong. Blaming others for my feelings became my favorite pastime as I would self-righteously say or think, “You make me sick.” or “You’re really upsetting me.”

Realizing how I developed false beliefs has helped reprogram my childhood beliefs into oneness beliefs. When I’m in the consciousness of oneness:

• I know that when other people are being unloving toward me it’s not a statement about me it’s a statement about them.
• I know that they have lost their heart connection and are not coming from a place of oneness.
• Although I am not responsible for the well-being and feelings of others, I am compassionate when they have lost their way.
• I remember that I am loveable and loving.

What would it take for you to know and hold on to these oneness truths?

STAY CONNECTED! with Connections Radio on Spirit Media Network.

Connections Radio Show is a project of Humanity’s Team

====================================
Spirit Media Network is the online positive media network designed to provide you with the best in positive internet radio, spiritual internet tv and inspirational music. Our inspirational podcasts and vodcasts are designed to meet and exceed your desire for positive media that truly makes a difference worldwide.

“The New Spirit In Media ~ Media That Makes A Difference”

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